Dealing With Online Comments & Trolls
The moment we start sharing our photography with the world, we open ourselves up for feedback. This is especially true online. This feedback can be positive, negative and in some cases even mean and personal. Having been sharing my photography for the last 5 years I have seen a lot and I now feel like I am in a position where I have enough experience to be able to offer you some advice on how you can navigate and deal with online feedback. Finally although this is aimed at photography, the concept applies to anything that involves you making something and sharing it online.
Invited Feedback
Let’s first look at invited feedback. By this I mean when you reach out to someone and ask them what they think of your work and if they can give you any feedback or critique. There are 2 ways to go about it. The first way is to simply DM your favourite photographer and ask them to look at your work. This is not the best way. Chances are that person already gets a ton of messages. Also they are probably very busy. So even if they do read your message and they do look at your page, it would be for a few seconds max. You would then get a fairly basic comment like “nice colours” or “love the mood”. This is not because they don’t care, it’s because they get this every day and if they spent their time properly studying everyone’s work and having a discussion with each person, they would have no time for anything else.
Another issue is that most will be polite as to not discourage or upset the person asking. If I just told you that I didn’t like your compositions but then didn’t have time to discuss why or find out what you were trying to achieve, then you would just be left with a bitter taste in your mouth. Therefore any feedback from DMs should be taken with a huge pinch of salt.
The second way is to find out if that photographer does paid online 121s, workshops or portfolio reviews. Some do and charge a reasonable price for an hour of their time. By paying for their time, you will get a lot more out of the interaction and both you and the photographer will have enough time to really dig deep. The feedback you get will be a lot more meaningful, personal and honest. Even if the feedback is not entirely positive, because you are dealing with a professional, it will be given to you in a way that encourages you to keep going and even gives you a framework as to how to improve. You will leave the interaction with a positive attitude and an optimistic view on your work. So if you actively seek to get feedback, then the second way is definitely preferred.
There are two big caveat to all of this though and that is make sure you are getting feedback from someone who understands what is is you are trying to do and if possible get feedback from 3 different sources. For example if you want to do street photography but from a more travel perspective with the hopes of maybe having your work in a travel magazine, then getting feedback from a street photographer, a travel photographer and someone within the travel magazine industry might prove to be more beneficial. Equally if you are just focused on street, then I would reach out to 3 different street photographers in order to get a well balanced feedback.
Uninvited Positive Feedback
Positive feedback is amazing. We all love those comments from people who appreciate our work as it makes us feel like we are creating something worthwhile. I know people say “create for yourself and not for others” but at the end of the day we are social creatures and we love any kind of social affirmation or recognition. The only thing I’d say is if you happen to get a lot of positive feedback, just be aware that sometimes it can get into our head and make us feel like we are at the top and somehow made it. It can make us feel like there is no more room for improvement and give us an impaired understanding of our skill level. So by all means enjoy all the positive feedback, thank the people who are giving it but just don’t let it get to your head. Also don’t let positive feedback direct your work and where you want to take it. It’s easy to take photos you know will get likes and comments. However many people end up in a trap of taking photos they are no longer interested in just to keep that positive feedback and likes rolling in. This becoming trapped and even unhappy.
Uninvited Negative Feedback
Now let’s talk about the elephant in the room. Let’s first break this down as not all uninvited negative feedback is created equal.
First up we have genuine feedback from people who love what you do, care about what you do and are genuinely trying to help you. Their comments will be very polite, very respectful and never personal. They respect you and the way they write the comment will reflect that. With this group of people, do have a think about their feedback decide if you agree or not. Whatever you decide, just make sure to reply and thank them for their comment as it is made with 100% good intentions.
One good metric is if you dismiss this feedback immediately then you know it doesn’t apply. However if it really bothers you and you’re not sure why, just have a slightly deeper think because usually there might be an element of truth in it. From experience these comments come from people who are happy and content with themselves and their work.
Secondly we get the opinionated group who believe it is their god given right to tell everyone what they think of them and they will not stop till their opinion is shoved down everyones throat. Their tone will be more brash, more confrontational, opinionated and either directly or indirectly telling you that you are wrong and you don’t know what you’re doing. The message will not be polite nor respectful in many cases.
There are a few things you can do… if the comment hurts you, first of all ask yourself…. If this comment was written politely, would it still bother you? Is it the comment or is it the tone? If it still bothers you then maybe there is some truth to it that you need to further investigate. If it doesn’t bother you then just ignore it and move on. Don’t argue back .. I tried it and it’s not worth it. A bit like playing chess with a pigeon… it doesn’t matter who’s right, the pigeon will still knock all your pieces over and shit on the board. If ignoring and moving on is difficult then let’s turn the table and pretend to be the person leaving the comment. Chances are there is a degree of frustration. Maybe they are not getting the recognition they think they deserve or maybe their voice is not heard. This then turns to bitterness and into these negative comments.
Whenever I get these kinds of comments and I look at who’s leaving them it is never someone who’s just started or someone who’s at the top of their game. It is someone in that middle position where they have some skill but are not getting the eyeballs they think they deserve. So rather than feel bad about yourself, just have some empathy for the other person and it will make this much easier to deal with.
The final comments are from full on trolls and they can be something like:
Your photos suck
Your nose is big
I don’t like your hair
You’re wrong
You don’t know what you’re doing
You’re stupid
You get the idea. Just random insulting words without anything behind them. Honestly you just gotta laugh at it because let’s think about it… can you imagine what that persons life is like if they spend their time sitting on the internet throwing personal attacks at people just sharing their hobby. The only thing you do with these comments is just block straight away. No reaction, no reply nothing. Just block and move on.
3 Important Thoughts
I just want to leave you with 3 thoughts. No one who is doing anything meaningful with their life, has the time to sit online, shout their opinions and drag others down. When was the last time that you saw myself, Sean, Faizal, The Framelines boys, Billy, Pierre or Eren get in peoples comments and tell them that their photos suck? When was the last time that your favourite photographer was sending a DM to someone telling them how boring their photos are? Simple fact of the matter is people who are winning, people who are successful and who have a purpose and a goal are not sitting around spreading negativity and shoving their opinions down people’s throats. They are busy doing, creating and living their own life.
Secondly people who leave nasty comments only do it because they have the safety of the internet and an anonymous account. Can you imagine someone walking up to you on the street and saying horrible things? Of course it won’t happen because the type of person to leave such comments is what in London we would call a pussyhole.